Thursday, June 16, 2011

Fear and loathing on United Airlines

  My  Sister who is the kindest woman on earth has been traumatised by her visit to Bozeangeles . Not just being  saddled by a 17 year old daughter she was  trapped in the nightmare of United in efficiency. Here is her  some what edited description of the horror fault . ( side note she is the mother of the soon to be famous writer Juliet Ray.)

 Remember when United's Motto was
                "Fly The Friendly Skies With United".
Traveling to Bozangeles
    Traveling is no longer fun. United treats people like cattle with wallets. Can’t wait til Southwest is flying the whole country!! United Airline and Continental Airlines merged and produced a flying lemon. We planned a multi destination trip-Houston, Bozeman, Colorado Springs and back to Houston. This made it a multi transfer destination trip: Houston-Denver-Bozeman for the 1st leg. Doesn’t sound too complicated., does it? Originally leave Houston at 1240, arrive Bozeman by 4 pm! We forgot that United’s Hub is far far away in Chicago which may have something to do with our horrific trip, now a common American shared experience. Probably happens everyday...

 We arrive at IAH George Bush in Houston in plenty of time to catch a 12:30>flight, to find we were delayed 2 hours and would therefore miss our connection. The reason a mystery, equipment was late, no idea why.  Interestingly, all the United flights around us in Houston were late.
  Actual text message from my Saint of a Sister

We have to stay here or Go thru security again.
 My daughter is driving me nuts - her phone does not ring or buzz so when we are separated I can't reach her. She left her wallet on the plane, then ran off to go to the wrong gate to retrieve it, then thank God we got there before the plane took off for NY!
Do not laugh! We need to write a book about her- a Comedy!!
If i dont have a heart attack 1st-So I'm short of breath cuz were in Denver, I'm dragging her stuff, my stuff, trying to chase her down before she runs up the gangplank of the wrong plane and is arrested, I cannot breath-
Are u laughing yet??
Then she goes to a scoop UR own candy shop with a $10 and comes back asking for $20 more- so I say we r not spending $30 on candy and send her next door to news stand to buy a big bag for $4
Good times, good times ..
Now delayed until 1040 pm- what a waste- I think this happened before
All around us United is late or cancelled..
United Merger with Continental Sucks!

When we finally did board 2 hours and 51 min late, and it became laughable! They took what seemed like hours, but probably only 10 extra minutes to board their SPECIAL members, one at a time: Elite, Premier Elite, Premier Executive, Premier Associate, Red Carpet Club, and on and on. People around us were either looking enraged or had the giggles. Finally we departed >Denver, with new boarding passes for Bozeman leaving Denver at 955PM and I informed the awaiting Brother Goat by iPhone that we would be there by 1130PM. Not perfect, but tolerable.

We get to Denver only to discover our 955 has been delayed to 1040, then 1050 then 11. Then our mysterious equipment has arrived, but United hasn’t cleared the gate because they are holding a flight to Boise for late arriving passengers. That plane leaves and ours pulls in and it looks like we’re >actually going to board...., THEN they can’t find the ground crew, so we can’t board. We are pushed back back back back to 1201 to arrive in Bozeman by 156 AM! No snack, no free alcohol, no pillow, no blankie!
 The almost worth it highlight was the moonlight, a full moon an arrival to Bozeman, lighting the silvery Madison River and all its oxbows below us, snaking its way across the landscape of beautiful Bozangeles. Twenty minutes later we were snug in our beds on the meadow.

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